Who is a Boudoir shoot for? - Well, it’s for you, silly!

14 Mar

Hot blonde, E, in red doing a boudoir shoot for her and not the patriarchy

“Ooh, I’ve always wanted to do one of those boudoir shoots … but I will wait till I get a partner.”

Girl. What? WHY.

I heard this recently from someone. And as I tried my hardest to contain the Girl-Power-Stick-it-to-the-Man visceral kind of reaction that naturally wanted to surface, I instead smiled and said “nah, do it for you.”

Ok, now it’s just the two of us again, come here. Take a seat next to me. Tell me, why are you waiting for a partner to validate you? Why wait for some guy (let’s be honest, it’s a guy) to come along and tell you that you’re ‘allowed’ to give him a little treat with this photoshoot.
Why wait for that? Why is it that there is this belief that we need a partner to be able to celebrate our own selves. That we need to be able to have permission to get dressed up.

That we need permission to be able to spend money on us, to be like,“Look how hot I am”

as a gift … for them!!! Why can't it be a gift … for us?

Oh that’s right. The patriarchy.

So no girl, don't wait for your partner. This magical, imaginable partner that could be around the corner tomorrow - and if they are, I am stoked for you. Truly.

Still, do it for YOU.

They might not be here for another couple of years. Still. Do it for YOU.

Celebrate yourself now.

Because in a couple of years, there might be another excuse.

And in a couple of years that partner might be somebody who doesn't allow you to celebrate you. Who isn’t cool with you getting this photoshoot. Dump them. And get the shoot.

In a couple of years, you might look back and go, “I wish I had done that shoot when I had pink hair”, or “I wish I had done that shoot to celebrate my 30th birthday” or that other milestone…

Don't wait until you have a partner. Do it now.

Don't wait for permission from some other person.
This is you. This is your body.

And I understand the irony that I'm the one giving you permission now, but I'm giving you the a-okay to take control of your own life. I'm not giving you permission whether to spend your own money or to make this decision for you. I'm giving you permission to make your own choices, just in case somebody else hasn't done that for you already. We've lived in this life and the society as women that we always need to be subservient to men, to always be looking to them for permission. I do it all the time still, and I'm such an angry feminist, and I have such a supportive husband who encourages my angry feminism, and I still look to him, because this is the patriarchy. So from one angry feminist to perhaps another angry feminist or maybe just a blossoming one - it's okay. You can take charge of your own choices.